我已经很久没有写博文了。

有一些草稿被丢在资料库里奄奄一息。看着它们，我为自己的想象力和发表这些东西的勇气而着迷。礼貌而言，这些文字尚待琢磨。但我已经忘了当时为什么写下这些字了，也无从落笔。好在今天有人工智能，让我交给AI完成其他的一个草稿。

突然觉得我太消极了。我开始读这些草稿的时候，只是漠然地觉得这些草稿挺大胆，但是仔细想来，这也是一种反射性思维。人有快和慢的两种思维方式，快的方式，从我的体感来说，比慢的方式更倾向于自我保卫。“习惯性地反对”大概也算是其中之一。习惯性地自我贬低来避免进一步的反省，我觉得是我看到这些字的第一反应。

我挺感激 OpenAI的，让我少一块心头肉。说错了，是少一个挂念。

我选择了“stori1”作为补完对象。结果已经更新在我的博客上了。

女主角取名叫Neren的原因，大概是谐音“内敛”，至少这是我看到这个名字的第一印象。一个更接近的猜想，是来自“Sukasuka”（終末なにしてますか?～）的女主人公之一的Nefren。也是挺内敛的一位。

虽然我害怕看悲剧结尾，但是我还是挺喜欢的。所以我让GPT-4重写了一遍，但是还是给了一样的结果，我只好特地写上”Please finish the story with a tragic ending“。

两份结果我都放在那篇文章里了。如此两个分支并排放在同一篇文章里，是不是有一种，game book的感觉？在没有计算机的时代里，读互动游戏书的时候我们应该是翻着纸质书籍，遇到一个选择分支的时候，通过查找确定下一段的位置——这种古老的体验。我曾经也想着做一个网页版的互动游戏书……仔细想想，就算开源好像也没啥问题，只是我懒得写，加上实力不足。

故事结局带有些许《罗密欧与朱丽叶》的韵味，尽管比较简略但也算恰到好处。我并没有十足的信心能够写下更优美的结局。

我现在脑里空空，没有什么要写的了，就此搁笔，下次再会……

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4.9

Date: 04/09/2023 Last edited time: April 9, 2023 7:50 PM Weather: 🌞Sunny

I had a longed-for eight-hour sleep yesterday. Or today because I was awake around 2am. And I hurried to finish a unit in Duolingo as promised.

And I made the same mistake twice.

“에서” means “from”, and “에” means “to”. “가요” means “go” so it works with “to”. Meanwhile, “와요” — “come” — pairs with “from”. Next time it won’t beat me.

When I started the diary today, it became clear that I had not filled out the weather yesterday. I knew it was cloudy – I checked the weather. But I chose not to prefill it: I wanted to witness it myself.

And I witnessed a 100% sunny day today. It is 19C outside! Warmly lovely sun. I appreciate it. I can wear no tights without feeling cold today.

Are the flowers blooming? I want to check out the arboretum someday. A search through the Internet gave me nothing but rough dates, and even the arboretum home page gave me the image that its residents’ flimsy moods are unfathomable.

Instead, I found a planting calendar. It says that we should plant basil around the end of March here. I didn’t know it two years earlier. I received some basil seeds and a gardening tool set at the end of summer 2021. And I planted it after that. Despite basil being acknowledged as an easy plant, it couldn’t thrive. Its stems were slim and weak, its leaves small and yellow. The frigid winter in Wisconsin denied it the essential sunlight.

Like in Klara and the Sun, I wished the sun could bring it back to life. But in the end, it was in vain. After a year and a half, it dawned on me what went wrong.

Annoyed by Grammarly being fussy at small problems like punctuation, I found this article. It discusses the advantages and implications of these autocorrecting tools.

A generated summary of it:

This article is about the use of Grammarly, an automated written corrective feedback (AWCF) software, in the writing center. The author, who works as a Faculty Associate in the Writing Center at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, revisits the software five years after first trying it and discusses the potential implications of using the software in a writing center. Recent research has shown that students understand the limitations of Grammarly and use it strategically for final paper editing. However, the author has concerns about what this implies for linguistic justice, as it reinforces a rigid and harmful notion of a standard English that’s earned its status through global white supremacy. The author concludes that, while they wouldn’t advocate for students who aren’t already using Grammarly to start using it, they will consider sharing information about the research findings when working with students who are concerned about lower-order concerns.

This led me to think about a popular tweet I saw. “If you feel disregarded, you might well have some language problems. ” It quotes another tweet that recommends elementary language practices.

I do think they both share an interesting point: making a problem to solve it. Grammarly gives low scores to articles and offers solutions to those nonproblems, to make people appreciate it. This tweet thrives by making people question themselves. It shuffled the focus from “Do you make elementary-level mistakes?” to a broader problem.

Admittedly, they are useful: Grammarly can fix many grammar mistakes; doing simple practices may strengthen confidence. But we should know our problem and not get carried away.

As part of the memory-switching test, I put the stick into another slot. My laptop shut down two times in succession. Again, too early to enjoy.

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4.8

Date: 04/08/2023 Last edited time: April 9, 2023 9:58 PM Weather: ☁️Cloudy

The Internet is becoming our echo chamber. That is true. But anyone who is not satisfied with it, who goes out of their comfort zone to broaden their views, deserves respect, not hindrance.

Twitter does not allow anyone like or retweet Substack’s this tweet, nor my quoted retweet of it.

I felt sad for Twitter. It had to go out of its way to stop people from turning away.

Elon Musk promised it to be ‘open’, but social media can never be too closed — they want to close people inside them. It is a place where people only see what they agree with. If you already agree with it, why would you try to think otherwise? It is such a comfortable cage that you want to stay there forever.

I recall the Eagles’ Hotel California:

You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave

And all social media want to be our Hotel California.

While I use Twitter from time to time (for cute and sexy illustrations), I do not think it is good to be caged by it.

Steam banned my review of Glare1more. When I read it again tonight, I thought it might be because I put the link to the developer’s home page.

I happened to use Substack for a minute or two. I wanted to find a new place to put my writings in, and I searched everywhere.

Hatena, Medium, Note, Substack, Blogger, Ghost, and the list goes on.

Depending on my mood, sometimes I write in Chinese. And when I do, I want it to look good. These blogs share a feature, “What you see is what you get”. So, when I saw Chinese characters stand out like Yao Ming among some kindergarten kids, I knew everyone would see the same. It hurts my eyes so much that I want to cry.

It takes no effort to give Chinese characters a closer look to Japanese ones, so they look good side by side.

But none of them cares.

Or it is just me — my computers and my phone use English because I prefer everything to be in the same language. And being English, they do not know about Chinese characters, so they do their best — which is another way of saying do their worst.

Using English on my phone also hurts me in a way I haven’t thought of:

I bought most of my Japanese books through Bookwalker. But Bookwalker must be unhappy with me using English — it does not want to show the Japanese books but its translated books in stead. I like reading books or playing games in their original languages. And it’s 12pm now. I missed Duolingo’s booster. I will get it tomorrow.

The restaurant that I wanted to visit closes on Saturdays — I will be back…

I had hot pot with my roommate for dinner. Recently we ate together twice, but not in the last two years. That is something notable.

After dinner I went to school — I feel it better than spending time at home, looking at social media. If only I could read books at home.

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